Howard Dongs Again!!
Greensburg - Ryan Howard has hit another "yarder", and has surpassed the modern-era Kittens record, set in 1999 by Albert Belle. In the middle of a suicide squeeze, Howard bunted the ball with such force that it impaled Carlos Zambrano and then launched the portly central american into the upper deck. Is there any limit to Howard's power? So far, leading scientists do not think so. As recently as last week Howard swung his bat in such a fashion as to strike the souls of all of the Greensburg players that had "irritated" him during the year, immediately disabling Roger Clemens, Chipper Jones, Scott Kazmir, Nomar Garciaparra, and Manny Ramierez. Luckily for the Barfielders faithful, the organization is run in such a "cut-and-run" manner that they were immediately replaced by a "scab" crew of non-union chumps.
posted by The Minister of Information @ 5:21 PM
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